Not Enemies, But Friends
Gratitude 6/18/2025
I am grateful for the gift of a new day.
My heart is filled with gratitude for the many blessings I have.
I will appreciate the small joys and express my thanks in all circumstances.
Let my attitude of gratitude bring joy to others.
I am so grateful for people who refuse to dehumanize other people and treat them as enemies.
There are people thoughout history whom I believe to have been really bad characters, who have caused other people and other living things great harm. Some, like Hitler, rise to power and convince others to support their cruelty on a large scale.
There are some individuals who fester anger and hatred towards others. Sometimes they are disturbed people who previously suffered and want to inflict that suffering on others. Sometimes, like those men who killed people in places of worship, they convince themselves that they are righteous and deserve to live while others deserve to die.
That’s why we have justice systems and armies to stop bad people from harming others.
The commonality when people take action to harm others seems to be that we dehumanize innocent people, often people we don’t even know, people we have never encountered. Instead of human beings with families, trying to make the best life for themselves, they become “vermin,” “illegal immigrants,” “rapists,” “murderers,” “super predators,” “enemies of the people,” “evil,” “lunatics,” “radical extremists,” “mentally ill”… It becomes as if other people are reduced to being just one thing and belong to a group that must be punished, imprisoned, or exterminated.
But no one is just one thing. We all make mistakes, have anxieties, do stupid things, act out of anger. My dad as a teenager with his friends stole a car and took a joy ride. The police came to his house afterwards and my grandparents told them that it would never happen again. I think my grandfather at a young age got into trouble with the law, too. I know many people who have had a drinking, drug, eating, or gambling problem. But that is not the only thing that defines them.
At the same time as we make mistakes, we love our children, stand up for our siblings, take care of our elderly parents, adopt a rescue pet and buy it lots of treats, contribute to noble causes… We all bleed when we cut ourselves, weep when we lose a loved one, and we are all going to die someday, even the wealthiest and most powerful.
I myself can be defined in so many ways. I am a wife, mother, sister, grandmother, cousin, editor, Buckeye, student, Democrat, reader, small business owner, dog lover, teacher, Girl Scout leader, Destination Imagination coach, birder, farm owner, gardener, college graduate, friend, neighbor, American, writer, procrastinator, cook, sentimental fluff… so many things. I might not be good at any one of these things, but they help to define me.
Religion has been so powerful in human life, even if we have different faiths or no faith, because it provides narratives that provide models of being good, forgiving, and personal paths of redemption. It shows humans how to live in peace. I don’t know a lot about many religions but all seem to be founded on the Golden Rule, which is a statement of empathy and compassion.
When I see my reflection in other people, when I find commonalities, I am so much less likely to fear them or hate them or want them to suffer. My instinct is to find ways to help them, to make our lives better, to become friends, so all boats rise.
In 1861 in his inaugral address, Lincoln said,
“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”
I am so grateful for the people who see me as more than one thing.